Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The passing of the UAFA

will afford us dignity and respect as a couple and bring to an end nine years of severe emotional hardship.


Anna said...

Dear Helen,

I only just found your wonderful blog a few days ago and wanted to contact you ever since (I couldn't find out how to send you a private message though). I can relate to your and Cas' experience - I too am part of a bi-national same-sex couple suffering under the unjust US immigration system. We hope to be re-united soon, too - my partner is working hard in order to get UAFA passed while I, an Austrian citizen, will be here in Vienna and listen to the webcast on June 3 (it'll be 10am here vs. 5am where you are - poor you!)

I am glad you will be re-united this July - it's been so long for you. Let's hope immigration laws will change soon so we can all lead the lives we deserve to lead with our loved ones by our side.

All the best,

Helen said...

Anna I am so happy to hear from you! Thank you for your very kind comments. There is such comfort to be found in making connection with others in our situation.
I am thrilled to hear that you too hope to be reunited with your partner soon. "Reunited" is a beautiful word isn't it ~ I never realised HOW beautiful until I experienced this prolonged suffering.
I will post an email address on my blog soon, so people such as yourself can contact me privately. I would love that.
Warmest regards

Anna said...

Thank you for your immediate reply! Indeed, it is wonderful to talk to people in the same situation – it eases the pain tremendously and there are so many couples like us out there. I will definitely contact you once you post an e-mail address.

I could so relate to what you said about JFK, about trying not to look at the planes in the sky and the signs on the highway. My partner and I live (or used to live) on Long Island so this was a constant struggle, especially during the last few weeks. You took the words right out of my mouth, Helen.

I stand in awe of you and Cas for dealing with this for nine years now. My partner and I have been together for two and I can't – but, like everybody else, have to – wait for this unjustified punishment to be over. I try to remain positive and I feel we have a momentum here: something might change very soon. Let's hope for the best.

I am so happy that you and Cas will be reunited in July. Yes, reunion is a beautiful word and thing – I never thought about it before but it sure is. My partner and I are trying for August: I hope to be granted a B2 visa which is uncertain. To be at the mercy of embassy staff and immigration officers is something I will never get used to.

I would love to stay in touch with you.

Best wishes,

Helen said...

I was very happy to hear from you again Anna. It is my wish to contribute in building a sense of caring community here on the web for people who are living through this hell. Others, like www.imeQ.us, are doing this also. Fear (of loss of love) and intimidation have silenced us all for so long now and this in turn has isolated each of us. This isolation has only suceeded in further exacerbating our pain and sense of powerlessness.
We will stay in touch Anna. I need to set up a new email address to include here as I don't want to publicise my everyday one.
We will talk soon! Take care ~

Julia said...

Dear Helen,

I won't be able to watch it live due to the broadband prepaid situation here in SA, but I will be reading everything as it happens. It'll be late evening here at least.
Like everybody else, I'm so scared to hope and pray but what else can we do, hmm? I dreamt last night that I surprised my Texas Rose for Valentines Day and just rocked up at our old apartment lol. So this morning, I looked at flights and tried working out my budget for applying for visa's etc, but I'm not sure yet. It would be so wonderful to just be able to go to the consulate and say - YES, I am married; YES, I am worthy; YES, I am an individual who has done more/volunteered more/seen more of America than most Americans.
Feel free to use my ID to email me anytime, I'm at home on my own during the day and my parents have such an eventful evening life that they're hardly home - hope to hear from you soon!


Helen said...

Jia thank you! All that you say rings so true to me.
I smiled when I read of your dream as I too have many times had that dream/fantasy ~ of arriving without telling Cas ~ just walking in on her! But then she would miss out on those wonderful weeks of anticipation and planning and the joy of shopping for all our favourite foods, knowing we will soon share them!
I am so sorry but I just can't figure out how to contact you using your ID. I have now posted my email address under my profile and would love to hear from you and anyone else who would like to write to me.
Take care Jia.